barbequed People

Sunday night was a little crazy, a little sickening.  There were four of us, each with a 12 pack in hand.  There was a fire.  We were rednecking.

Next thing I know, the beer is gone and Bryan is asking for things to chug.  Out came the tobasco, but that wasn’t enough.  We brought out shots of mustard, relish, jelly, and some stagnant ass puddle juice.

But alas, he wanted to up the stakes.  Out came a can of corn and down his insatiable esophagus it went.  We were running out of food.  Oh wait, there’s one more thing… a full bottle of barbeque sauce.

BBQ sauce is thick.  And plentiful.  It was fed to him by James from a tree.  He opened wide and gurgled it all.  He choked a little, but persisted.

When it was all said and done and the laughs were subsiding, it was time to clean the sick fuck up.  Being the only female, I was delegated the task.

12 beers + cleaning up some guys face and neck (BBQ sauce x corn x dried puke) = grossness

As I papertoweled this disgusting creature, he did the worst possible thing he could have possibly done.  He leaned in.  Yeah, LEANED IN.  This marinated fuck wanted to suck face, I would have rather thrown him in the fire and had some ribs for dinner.

Call me a cannibal, but the smell of barbeque sauce doesn’t make my panties moist.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 21st, 2005 at 8:20 pm and is filed under sick shit, fun&nonsense. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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