Anal sex is a harsh mistress. Some love it, some hate it, and some take it way too far.
When it comes to sex toys, I live by one golden rule: Anything that needs an instruction manual, I’m not interested in. This big toy is expandable and retractable, reaching a 12” circumference, wtf?
I know that enemas and all that are performed commonly before anal sex, but I still haven’t figured out why. I’ve had a moderate amount of anal and not once has there been an “accident.” For some reason, sucking poop out with a turkey baster seems like a turn off, no?
This is what I like to call the trout. It looks long, slippery, and has a bite at the top. They say it’s soft but it looks pretty spikey to me. This thing is big enough to swim up to your intestines and eat what you had for dinner.
As a grand finale, I’d like to introduce this wonderful kit of batons. If you ever wanted to give your ass a serious beating, this is the tool to use (particularly the middle one). When a toy calls for me to jam it in sideways and ram it around my asshole, that’s when I pull up my pants and run away.
Want to explore the scary world of anal toys?
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