Archive for February, 2005

an open letter to Boston Market

Friday, February 25th, 2005

To whom it may concern:

Since mid-January, I have been coming to your establishment on a regular basis.  I was lured in by your commercials, promising the delectable Spicy Tuscan Rotisserie Chicken between the hours of 5pm and 8pm.  However, I was grossly misled.  I have arrived at various times within the three hour span (about 8-12 times total) and have yet to be served this menu item.  Not only is the Tuscan chicken always “out,” I honestly don’t think you make it at all.  There is no reason that you should be out of the chicken at 5:20 PM if you start serving at 5:00.  Out of all my visits, I was only told that it was cooking once… and that it would take 25 minutes to be done.  Furthermore, the workers always manage to have a surly attitude.  In fact, they act as if it’s my fault that THEY are out of chicken.  My dissatisfaction knows no bounds.  I expect a full Spicy Tuscan Rotisserie Chicken to be delivered to my door by Midnight tomorrow (or atleast a coupon for one) or I will take you to court for bait and switch tactics.  Thank you.

Now that I got that off my chest, here are some cute girls.  Click to enlarge.

dumb Penis Pills

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005

My friend Jared just informed me that he has been taking Magna-RX.  The following conversation ensued:

[me] what are you, an idiot?
[jared] dude i swear they’re working
[me] have you measured?
[jared] yeah i think i got almost a half inch
[me] ...
[jared] i’m like 10 times harder too
[me] what are you, an idiot?
[jared] shut up, they’re working

I don’t know what to believe.  I’ve always been skeptical about this kind of stuff, but now that it’s all over TV commercials I don’t know what to think.  Has anyone tried it, does anyone want to?  I’d love some other opinions.  Let’s end the Penis Pill Debate once and for all.

the Headless horseman

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005

This is by far the sickest photo series that I have ever seen.  If you ever asked yourself “What does a headless dick look like?” look no further.  This is a case of an amputation fetish.  Amputation fetish footage is extremely hard to find (for obvious reasons), so below is something extremely rare.  If you’re looking for a free fetish site with no credit card needed to explore your kinky side, check out this site.

paris hilton sidekick Hacked

Sunday, February 20th, 2005

Oops, she did it again!  Paris Hilton managed to get her T-Mobile Sidekick hacked.  All her contacts and personal emails were released.  I’ve been making prank calls for the past two hours, feeling like a 12 year old boy.

A few stars from the list include Fred Durst, Polly Shore, Eminem, Lindsay Lohan, Christina Aguilera, Andy Roddick, Ashlee Simpson, Victoria Gotti, Vin Diesel, Anna Kournikova, Snoop Dogg, and a whole lot more.  Christina Aguilera told me “Fuck off!” ... Snoop’s manager chatted with me for a couple minutes … Polly Shore has the most ridiculous voicemail message I’ve ever heard.

Besides that, some interesting pictures were stolen from Paris’ Camera Phone.  This is her with playboy playmate Nicole Lenz:



By the way, if you’re a grandma and have yet to see the Paris Hilton Sex Tape you can download it directly here.  If you’d like to see Paris along with every other celebrity that ever got naked, you can go here.

here come the Cliches

Saturday, February 19th, 2005

There comes a time in every blog’s lifespan that the obligatory internet cliches are posted.  Although there are many more than the ones below, I truly believe that these are the Top Three.  What would the internet be without these?

Goatse.cx Gaping Anus

Lemonparty Grandpa Cliche

The Infamous Tubgirl

Think I’m missing some?  Feel free to post a comment and expand my list.